“Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned?“
– Proverbs 6:27
Sexual desire is like a fire that spreads as soon as it is lit. For a man, something he sees or a thought that pops up in his mind can be enough to ignite it. For a woman, if she is emotionally involved with a man, things can move fast from one step to another. The way our brain works is like this ─ once it perceives a sexual stirring, it starts a chain of events in preparation for the act. Then our reason and will begin to have less and less control over our actions. That explains why many people end up doing things they never planned to do!
Sexual relationships work best when everybody is clear about what they want. If you don’t tell your partner what you want, you might find yourself expecting different things. One of you might be looking for a fling, whilst the other for a marriage!
Many people confuse love, commitment, and sex, or assume the three always go hand-in-hand. There are many ways to express love, and you don’t need to have sex with someone to show them you love them. But the world has perverted sex in a way where people are going for the relationship in order to have sex rather than to be connected in love.
When two papers with glue in between come together and attach together it is impossible to separate the two-paper back to its place. One side of the paper will be attached to the other side of the paper and vice versa. Like, for example, when two individuals come together in the form of a sexual act, a piece of your partner (the good, bad, and ugly) stays with you (and vice versa) for the rest of your life. You can only imagine what it would look like when you bond with multiple partners.
So, what happens when we have multiple sexual partners?
Scientifically, we know this: As we bond and break, bond and break, bond and break, we lose our ability to properly bond. When we’re ready for that new serious relationship or marriage, we miss something that prevents us from bonding fully we don’t feel connected or committed. Our feelings may seem to diminish. When we see someone else a little more exciting, more appealing, more perfect for us, we’re ready to move on in a heartbeat. This condition of being “crazy in love” suddenly disappears. We may say we don’t feel all that excited anymore. We may even lose faith in falling in love again. This is why it is crucial to protect our purity: Spirit, Soul and Body. We must understand that ability to be pure and save ourselves is not just a religious ideal. It’s not just about giving your valuable virgin-card to someone. That’s not the point. The point is to keep all of yourself intact so that when we find the right person, you connect with them for life and give it all fully.
It is possible to forget all about consequences when we are moved by an infatuation or experience with the pressure of temptation. That is why we can’t deal with it ‘when we come to it’, because if we go a little too far, it may become impossible to stop.
Having sex in a committed relationship, however, can make people feel closer and more loving. Whilst having sex in the non-committed relationship can also be lots of fun and can make people feel like better friends but it will ultimately lead you to unhealthy emotional pain. Sex is the most intimate form of love where you express your love with your partner in a sacred form. Sex brings two partners together who are in deep love and affection for each other into a much closer relationship. But I want to ask you what would happen when something that is so beautiful is done outside marriage?
Genesis 2:24 “the two shall become one“
It talks about sex under a marriage that bonds two individuals for life. In the context of God’s design, it bonds you with your spouse for life. If you have sex with someone who is not your spouse, you create a deep bond which then gets broken and can result in a lot of pain and heartache. However, if you save sex for your spouse, you create a bond with your partner that is strong because it is only with one person, and continues to be strengthened the longer you are married and building a sex life together.
God designed sex so that people only share themselves in this manner when they are committed to each other for life, also we believe this is the healthiest and the best way to experience it i.e., within the covenant of marriage. God does not want anyone of us to live an unhealthy life which includes brokenness, pain and disappointment because of that God designed something which is so pure and holds to be inside a covenant of marriage.