Why do parents struggle to have conversations about sexuality? There are many reasons but one of the main factors is, talking about the human part.
We can see in the bible the first fear that Adam and Eve had was the fear of nakedness and this is what parents struggle to talk about with their children about their private parts.
I love the way Moral Revolution has connected the story of Eden Garden they said, “Genesis 2:25 says before Adam and Eve had eaten from the tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, they were naked without shame. Then, in Genesis 3, after Adam and Eve ate from the Tree of the Knowledge, even though they were husband and wife and the only two people on the planet, they immediately attached fear and shame with their sexuality and tried to cover themselves. Something we need to remember is that sexual issues rarely begin as a lust problem; they begin as a trust problem when we doubt God’s goodness or His ability to meet the needs of our heart.”
Not long after they ate the apple, God went looking for Adam and Eve. Then the Lord God called to the man, and said to him, Where are you? (Genesis 3:9). He simply called them out from the place of shame and fear. He is still giving us an open invitation to come to Him and seek refuge under His presence. Then He covered them. They tried covering them-selves with leaves and fig trees which shows that we attempt to cover our shame with our own effort. Instead, God Himself sacrificed an animal and made garments in order to make a covering for them and protect them regardless of the choices they made. Proverbs 25:2 says, “it is the glory of God to conceal a matter, but the glory of kings to search it out.” God does not conceal something which is shameful or bad rather He conceal something which is pure, precious and valuable. He concealed their innocence because it was valuable, He came and protected them in areas where they were being shameful.
Three practical steps to teach your children about their sexuality:
IT STARTS WITH YOU
It is hard to communicate God’s design for shameless, life-giving sexuality with your kids if you are still “hiding behind the trees” just as it was with Adam and Eve in Genesis 3. Its time to do what you need to do if you want your children to live a life that is life-giving and living healthy sexual life- you need to be equipped. Get connected with Elders and Pastor, start discussing these topics with counsellor and friends. Mum and Dad, what you do right now is going to protect your children and in the process, you are fighting against hell that is trying to lure down your kids.
LET’S NOT FOCUS ON DON’T
For me practically, growing up I was told that “if you have sex with a girl you are going to get someone pregnant and you will be a father with lots of responsibilities, I was also told if you will have the sex you will get sexually transmitted infection or STD.” I was been told many stories of how people got STDs and girls got pregnant while still in their teens, which is actually true but instead of knowing that sex is, in fact, God’s gift I was fed with words that brought fear. Never did I knew that sex was actually God’s design. It is easy to follow “don’t” and what we’re against, but what we are pursuing instead of avoiding has the real authentic power. It is necessary for you to set the goal and a target for your kids. Let them know why are they protecting their purity and virginity. Help them to know that it’s not their battle but its the battle of the family “fighting from puberty to honeymoon suite”. Let them know that they are not alone and create room for open conversation as such. Set a vision for the joy and freedom and shame-free sex life that is ahead of them. And, that is what you are fighting for and we can do this together if we work in it together!
YOUR STORY IS IMPORTANT
Revelation 12:11 says “They overcame by the blood (of the Lamb) and word of their testimony.” What is your story? What were the temptations you faced? How did you respond to those temptations and what could have been done better? What are the good decisions you made that were paid off in time? Your kids don’t need to know the details but it’s important for them to know your story. The story of your own sexuality and these will bring confidence in the hearts of the children to come and communicate with you about their struggles too.
If you don’t talk it out, the children will know about it one way or the other. But, what if their knowledge of sexuality is defined and founded in your definition – I believe the world will be a better place and the Sons and Daughter would be in their rightful place. It is not easy to raise a child and talk it out but the reward that is ahead is precious and joyful for you and your generation.
You are not alone, we are here with you, we believe in you and God will give you the wisdom and ability to connect and communicate with your children as you partner with Him!